Thirty Days to Fall in Love
by kakagurl
Summary: Love is stronger than the toughest steel but more delicate than the finest silk; more beautiful than the loveliest day, and uglier than all of our fears and regrets; infinite and unbreakable as stone, yet it shatters like the thinnest ice. Kakasaku
1. Thoughts

**A/N: Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own either anime/manga, but I, like many others, wake up every morning thinking I do, but then I am struck by reality and am brought to the harsh realization that I don't really own Naruto. So sad…**

_Thoughts_

_Sakura POV _(First Person)

**_Kakashi POV _**(First Person)

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Chapter 1: Thoughts

* * *

_I didn't really know when it had happened. It might have been there, all along. It might have started that time, when he had always been for me, sheltering me when my parents passed on. It might have been a seed in my soul, slowly blossoming and growing until it filled my entire being. Maybe it had been one of those over-night things. _

_I hadn't really realized it until recently. Sure, there had been that time, when we were coming back from training, that he had told me, out of the blue, that he liked my hair short and that it made me look older; more sophisticated. The next day, I had chopped off my long strawberry locks until they barely brushed my shoulders. He had smiled and ruffled my hair, saying something about indulging my good old sensei and saying that I was his favorite student and whatnot. I had just rolled my emerald eyes and told him to reign in his ego, saying that I hadn't cut it for him, but that I had done it because it was easier that way. But, inside, I glowed nonetheless. I was becoming more accustomed to lying to him; lying to me._

_Whenever and why it had happened wasn't important anymore. All I knew was that I was falling, and falling hard. I didn't know why, but I felt something entirely different for Kakashi than what I had for Sasuke. It was warmer and bigger, filling my entire soul to the brim with joy and elation. It was stronger, taking hold of my soul and unwilling to let go. It never left me, filling my dreams when I slept and conquering my thoughts when I was among the awake. Whenever I was with him, I felt tingly and warm and my stomach clenched in pleasure. Whenever he smiled and sat by me, everything seemed brighter and warmer. Whenever he complimented me, whether it was a gruff "Nice job during training today, Sakura" or a warm "You look very pretty today, Sakura", it made my heart soar among the clouds. I knew that he could not possibly return my feelings but, foolishly, I went on loving him, nurturing it and aiding it in its growth until it was my everything; until he was my everything._

_I never told a soul, not even Ino, who went on and on about each little crush of hers. I hid my feelings, hoping that no one would find out. I didn't want to jeopardize our relationship. I didn't want to ruin his reputation. My mind didn't want this because it would hurt him. But, my heart was selfish and wanted another chance at love; it wanted redemption. It wanted kind words, warm smiles, cute dimples, whispered promises, walks beneath the lonely moon, days spent at the beach under the fiery sun, picnics beneath the glittering stars, quiet moments lost in the endless sky… It wanted so many things; it wanted Kakashi. But, I could not indulge its wants and needs. Kakashi was too important to me._

_I spent my days loving him from a distance, like one of those selfless characters in my romance novels. But, I did not feel like a selfless martyred. I felt like a criminal struggling to change their ways. I felt worthless and unloved, watching him give those warm, secret smiles I loved so much to other girls; watching his eyes soften when he saw her walking down the street, purple hair radiant, smile just as bright. He loved her; I knew that. But, I couldn't help but feel that lance of jealousy strike my heart when I saw him take Yugao's hand and his as they wandered through Konoha. I couldn't help but wonder if that could have been me if I had had the strength to tell him how I felt._

_I was disgusting. When Yugao's name was carved into the memorial, I felt a sickening elation that she was gone and I now had a chance. Kakashi had another name to visit every morning; he had another ghost to linger about him. Some said that Yugao was pregnant when the enemy shinobi had taken her life. Kakashi was hurt. I had no right to feel joy._

_Shortly after the loss of his fiancé, the real battle began. Akatsuki came to Konoha's gates, demanding that we surrender Naruto, saying that they would spare us if we did. Tsunade felt that it would be wrong to force shinobi that did not believe in their cause to fight. In the end, the only ninja that descended the battle field was the Rookie 9, Team Gai, and Team Kakashi along with a few of Kakashi's friends from ANBU._

_The battle was long and fierce. I fought along side Naruto and ended up healing rather than fighting. In the end, it came down to Tsunade and Pein, along with Kakashi and a blue-haired woman. I had watched Kakashi and the woman fight, because Tsunade was a medic and did not need my skills. I had never seen such skill. They did not fight. They danced._

_They seemed to float, striking with blinding speed as they weaved and ducked, circled and spun. In the end, Kakashi rose as the victor. I ran to his side and healed his wounds. I could feel his sweet breath against my hair as I bent over his chest, healing a long gash. Thankfully, it was the only wound he had sustained. It still amazed me how powerful my sensei was and is._

_Unfortunately, that day wasn't without casualties; the numbers of our shinobi were cut in half and many ANBU were losy, along with Yamato. The pain was unbearable. Yamato had managed to defeat Pein, but just barely. He and his ANBu team had died in service of Konoha, as had the other elite ninja. They had died the way they had lived: for Konoha._

_And now, I wonder, if that is to be my fate. If it is, I shall die with no regrets, for I have followed the path that I chose: the proud path of a kunoichi._

_

* * *

_

I've always loved spring. I love the heady scent that lingers in the air, the silkiness of the Sakura petals falling against my cheeks, the sweetness of their perfume, the texture of their bark… I loved Sakura trees more than anything because of him.

**_Maybe I had always felt something special for Sakura. Probably not. I didn't like the Sakura who though only of Sasuke. She was no better than Ino. She could not think for herself. She would not make a good Kunoichi. But she changed. It was that desire to be recognized by Sasuke that influenced that change in her, but she changed for the better. She got stronger, body and soul. Was that when I started loving her?_**

_For my sixteenth birthday, he got me a Sakura tree. Or, more accurately, apicture of a Sakura tree. There was a little pink card in the frosted envelope. It read: "This flower could never compare to your beauty." It was corny and boring and totally inappropriate for our relationship at the time, and it was one of those stupid cards you get from the Hallmark down the street, but it was a sweet, thoughtful gesture from a man who went through life in his own little bubble. I put it on my nightstand I would look at it every day when I went to bed._

_**It was when I first saw her smile through her tears. She was still a weak girl then, but she smiled, because she didn't want others to worry. It was then I saw her beauty and her strength. I saw my first glimpse of true Sakura. She was breathtaking.**_

_Every day after that, when Sai called me a hag and Sasuke called me weak and Kakashi said nothing at all, I'd think of it and remember that he really did care and that I did matter to someone in the world. It made it easier to bear._

_Maybe that was when it really started._

_**Maybe that was when it really started. It was so wrong. I was and am fourteen years her senior. I was her sensei. The village would hate her if we were to be together. They would talk about her behind her back. They would call her a whore. They would say she was trying to sleep her way to the top. I love her too much to do that to her.**_

_**Then again, she might not love me.**_

**_Am I just an old man to her?_**

**_Probably._**

**_Does she love me?_**

**_Unlikely._**

**_Will she ever like me?_**

**_Probably not._**

**_Is there any point in hoping?_**

**_No. There never is with me. All those I have ever loved have left me. I can't do that to her. She has her entire life ahead of her. Mine ended with the death of my team. All I am worth anymore is my ability to serve Konoha. Konoha… is my everything._**

**_I tell myself this everyday, but my heart will never listen to what my mind preaches._**

_**In truth, Sakura is and always will be my everything.** _

_It was when Kakashi had become my everything. _

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**A/N: Tell me what you think in a happy little review.**


	2. A New Set of Laws

**A/N: Hi. For those of you who didn't re-read the edited Chapter 1, this is no longer a Bleach crossover. Sorry to those of you who wanted it to be…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

_Thoughts_

_Sakura's POV_

_**Kakashi's POV**_

Regular POV

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**Chapter 2: A New Set of Rules**

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_Sometimes, I wonder what it would have been like to tell someone that I loved Kakashi. Who would I tell? Ino? What would she say? Would she laugh? Probably. Do I even have the strength to make my feelings known?_

* * *

Konoha was always peaceful in the mornings. Yellow sunlight streamed in through the blinds, flooding Sakura's room with warm light. The twittering of birds was oddly comforting as Sakura pulled on her standard uniform: a red top with the Haruno crest, short pink skirt covered with a brown medic's apron and tight black shorts beneath. She fastened her leg guards onto her tall leather shoes and stuffed her leather gloves into her kunai holster.

There was to be an all-shinobi gathering outside the Jounin HQ. It was obviously something important if every ninja in Konoha was to attend. Sakura's nerves were on full alert, and she felt oddly jumpy as she made her way through the crush of people in the streets. Something about that meeting didn't seem completely innocent to Sakura.

The courtyard was in chaos. The sound of voices was thundering and overwhelming, chunin and jounin and genin all standing in tightly knit groups, glancing furtively at those above them in rank. The ANBU, outranked only by those in their ranks and the Hokage, stood suavely here and there in their teams, masks lowered over their faces. It is said that looking at an ANBU the wrong way was enough to get you killed. If so, many, many of the shinobi gathered were dead men.

Sakura instantly recognized her boys among the crowd. Team Snake, Sasuke's team, Team Fox, Naruto's team, and Team Wolf, Kakashi's team, all stood together. They were on the receiving end of the brunt of the wary stares, for they were widely considered the most deadly and efficient teams in ANBU.

Sakura's heart sputtered in her chest at the sight of Kakashi in his uniform. ANBU uniforms are one of the strongest aphrodisiacs known to shinobi, and saying Kakashi wore his well was a gross understatement. Even though Sakura herself was not in ANBU, she wandered over to them, standing a safe distance from Kakashi. If she stood too close, she was certain her heart would give out.

Suddenly, a hush fell across the gathered shinobi and they all looked up expectantly as Tsunade appeared, standing at the railing, the same place she had been at her inauguration. She stared down at the gathered shinobi, eyes roving their faces, some plain for all to see, others hidden behind porcelain masks. Her eyes came to rest on the bright, beautiful face of her apprentice, and her insides twisted in indecision. She knew Sakura would not take it well, and she didn't want to subject anyone to this new law, but, for Konoha, she had to.

"As you all know, Konoha has the fewest shinobi it has ever had in the past few decades. After the war with sound, we have suffered heavy losses. But, we have a reputation to keep up. Many of you are pulling triple shifts and are taking missions far above you in rank and for that, I apologize. To solve this problem, no one will be taking a mission in the next month." There were mumurs of surprise. How would barring missions help Konoha's appearance to the outside world? Tsunade plowed forward. "From this day forward, for a full, thirty day period, all kunoichi over the age of sixteen are to get married. If a kunoichi is unable to find a man they wish to marry by the end of this time period, they shall be paired up with any shinobi in our village over the age of sixteen. That is all. You are dismissed." Thought her voice was steady, her hands were not. They were shaking from where they rested on the railing. All the shinobi had disappeared into thin air, all but a certain pink-haired kunoichi who stood, staring at the ground in disbelief, her brilliant green eyes numb. Tsunade's heart constricted.

_Sakura, I'm so sorry…_

_

* * *

_

My parent's neighbors were civilians, like my parents. They were people who enjoyed being the best. Our neighborhood had been quiet and peaceful before they moved in. Every other week, they had landscapers come and trim every stalk of grass that peeked over the carefully drawn margins of their land. The landscapers where there to make sure that the lawn was mowed to perfection, that every branch in every tree was where it was meant to be, that not one stray leaf clung to the perfectly green grass, that every ladybug and every butterfly was in place, that every bird sat in

_their__ trees and sang only for them… They were the type of people who threw parties every week to flaunt their wealth. They were the kind of human beings that compared their home to ours, obsessing over how much better their back yard looked than ours, with their winding, white-paved paths, wicker arches, trimmed grass, neat, tidy rows of trees and bushes, single fountain, and beds of bright flowers. They had benches and we had patches of dirt. They had matching, gold-gilded patio furniture and we had a rickety wicker swing clinging to the porch by rusted chains. They had precisely cut crystal glasses and we had plastic cups and ceramic mugs. They had a place for everything with everything in its place while we had a place for nothing and nothing in its place. The only thing about us the neighbors liked besides the fact that they were 'superior' to us was me._

_Once, they had even had the audacity to approach me on my way home with and offer to adopt me away from "those wretched beasts with no sense of style whatsoever". They said that I "would have every luxury available to me" and that 'it was such a waste that a beautiful child like me was living with such pigs". I responded by kneeing Mr. Takahashi in the balls and, while his wife was attempting to help him, running like the Devil himself was on my heels. But, not even that put them off._

_When I moved out, I would visit my parents whenever I could. But, every time I went, they seemed to know I would be there. They came and visited, saying, "Oh, what a coincidence! Who would've thought! Oh, it's wonderful to see you again, Sakura-chan! How've you been, dear? Here, have some of our homemade cookies." So, this time, I was coming unannounced._

_My parents lived in the civilian part of town. It was a long walk from my apartment, and I could've cut that time in half by running, and cut the time it took to run in half by traveling across the rooftops in true shinobi fashion, but I didn't. I walked slowly, unable to quite believe what Tsunade had requested that I and other kunoichi do. I was supposed to get married in thirty days. I had thirty days to find someone else I loved as much as Kakashi._

_I'd always known that, at some point in my life, I would settle down and raise pink-haired shinobi-to-be. But, I wasn't ready to get married and I definitely wasn't ready to have kids. Those child birth movies we watched in the Academy had been enough to make sure I considered having unprotected sex very carefully. Don't get me wrong, kids are cute, but the screaming and obvious pain that woman had been in was enough to put anyone off having children anytime soon. And now, I had thirty days to start becoming a one-woman baby factory._

_My parents would not take it well. They adored Tsunade. She was practically part of the family. But, that wouldn't stop them from marching over to the Jounin HQ and whipping some sense into the single most politically powerful woman in the world or trying to throttle some sense into possible suitors to get the heck away from their precious daughter. Either way, the result would be highly embarrassing._

_But, they did neither. They were overjoyed. They said that it was about time that I settled down and got over Sasuke. But, in truth, it hadn't been Sasuke that I had been pining over the past few years. It had been Kakashi._

* * *

There were very few times in Sakura's life that she had ever felt the need to drag herself out of bed. Usually, she just hopped out, eager to begin a new day. Ninja believed in starting each new day with a clean slate. Sakura believed the same. But today, it felt as if five-ton lead weights were fastened to her feet. She limped pathetically forward, locking her door behind her. She felt their eyes on her, boring into her back. They were looking at her like hungry, starving dogs, knowing very well that she couldn't run from them any longer. Not with the new law in place. Oh, Sakura's fanboys were overjoyed.

Sakura quickened her pace, trying to get away from them as quickly as possible. None of them approached her, because both Naruto, Kakashi, and Sasuke were in sight. They knew very well that she would sick her boys on them without a second thought.

"Kakashi! Naruto! Sasuke!" Sakura sang out, waving to them. She could at least pretend that everything was the same.

"Yo." Kakashi said, raising his hand in a two-fingered salute, a smile creasing his eye.

"Hey, Sakura-chan!" Naruto called enthusiastically, bouncing forward to envelope her in a warm hug. It wasn't the first time that Sakura had been thankful that Hinata wasn't a jealous girlfriend.

"Hn." Sasuke said in leeway of the common "hello" that most people received. But, Sakura knew that she was a very fortunate girl to even get a monosyllabic reply from the Uchiha heir.

"Hey, Sakura-chan, you wanna get some ramen?" Naruto asked excitedly, already tugging her towards Ichiraku. "Teme's paying."

"I never said that, dobe." Sasuke growled, his arms crossed.

"It doesn't matter to me who's paying, as long as it isn't me." Kakashi said with a shrug. "Cheap bastard." His former students muttered darkly.

"Well, Sasuke, you're the one with the most money. C'mon, take one for the team." Naruto whined, sidling up to Sasuke and tugging on his arm.

"No, Kakashi is. He takes so many A, S, and un-classed missions and he always brushes the bill off onto other people, I bet he's got a hoard of money lying around his apartment." Sasuke said, stealing a glance at the Copy nin.

There was a cough that sounded oddly like "it's in the bank".

"Soooo, who's paying?" Sakura cut in. As much as she enjoyed watching her boys try to push the bill off on each other, she drew the line when it came time to slander Kakashi.

"Teme is!"

"No, dobe is."

"Not me."

This resulted in another twenty minutes of fruitless arguing and, in the end, as they ended up at Ichiraku, Ayame gave them twenty percent off of their purchase if they would just shut the hell up. Since she had a soft spot for Kakashi, he ate for free. And, of course, the result was another bout of arguing as Naruto and Sasuke ganged up on Kakashi (though Sakura had to admit, seeing the two idiots agree on something was worth the noise). Sakura took it as an opportunity to discreetly disappear to go and consult Ino, who's days pf being a bachelorette were well on their way to ending.

Like Sakura, Ino was not at all happy about the new arrangements. Although they gave her an excuse to actively pursue Shikimaru and steal him away from Temari, who was also attempting to steal the heart of the Nara genius, Ino would obviously miss her days of freely going from one man's bed to another. And, she made this fact apparent to Sakura, who really didn't want to listen, but she didn't have much of a choice.

"Well, since we can't do anything about it, we might as well snag someone hot." Ino said with a smirk, holding an almost non-existent top to her ample chest. Ino was comfortable flaunting her body. Sakura was not. Sakura usually dressed demurely, and the naughtiest her wardrobe ever got were those skin-tight spandex shorts that she never wore without her skirt. "Mm… I was thinking of maybe going for Kakashi. I mean, the guy is _hot_, and, they say that you haven't lived till you've slept with Hatake Kakashi. And, if he takes you to bed more than once, you are a very, very lucky girl." Sakura's hands clenched into fists and her breath came hissing out through clenched teeth. Ino continued, oblivious. "And, I mean, if I have to get married, it might as well be with someone hot who's great in bed. Like, last week, I was talking to Anko and Kurenai, and they were talking about how great Kakashi was. He does this thing with his eye…" Sakura's vision was going red. How dare Ino talk about Kakashi like he was some toy? "… and I wonder if Sasuke can do it too. He did it once to Kurenai, and she said it was the most amazing thing ever… Hey, Sakura? Are you listening?"

"Of course." Sakura said tensely, all but tearing her itty bitty skirt into pieces.

"Do you think it's weird that I want a guy who's, like, older?" Ino asked, sitting down and applying mascara to her long lashes.

_You aren't the only one… _"No. Age is just a number."

"Well, who are you considering?" This was the part Sakura had dreaded the most. In truth, she couldn't think of being with anyone other than Kakashi. And, it would be stupid to tell Ino now, because Ino would take it as a competition, and when it came to seduction, Sakura didn't stand a chance to Ino. "I guess… well, I don't know, but I always have Lee to fall back on."

"Erm, well, your kids would be cute… sort of." Green jumpsuits and pink bowl-cuts _really _weren't the best combo.

"Yeah, if I have kids, I am so making sure that Gai and his 'stream-line, state-of-the-art jumpsuits' don't get within a two-mile radius of my kids." Sakura said, squashing down the horrid mental image (**A/N: Sorry, LeeSaku fans, but this **_**is **_**a KakaSaku fanfic)**. Sakura and Ino shared a shiver.

* * *

"Ah, my esteemed eternal rival!" Gai called, giving Kakashi his trademark thumbs up and blinding smile.

"Yo." Kakashi said, nonplussed.

"Have you gotten any offers yet, my friend? I have found myself on the receiving end of many gazes. The ladies cannot resist my youthfulness!" Though, the bright, inescapable green that surrounded Gai was hard _not _to notice.

Kakashi sighed heavily. He had received far too many offers and had lost count at around sixty that day. The kunoichi got crazier and crazier every year.

"Yeah man, how many have you gotten? I've got twelve." Genma smirked, leaning back in his chair. The jounin were, as usual, gathered at the Dull Kunai, there favorite hang out. They sat at their customary table in the back. Even though it was barely seven, the table was already littered with sake bottles.

Kakashi groaned again. "Pakkun, you tell them." The pug appeared with a giant tally sheet, listing the date, the time, and the female who had proposed. The total came up to seventy-four offers in the past twelve hours.

If Genma's jaw could've unhinged, it would have. "Damn, Kakashi. Since when were you so popular?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Kakashi said sulkily, taking out Icha Icha and hiding behind the brilliant orange book.

And that was the end of it.

* * *

Sakura sighed, tugging uncomfortably at the skin-tight fabric. "Is this really necessary, Ino?" She asked with a sigh, glancing down at the daringly cut sheath of black fabric that clung to her modest figure. The dress's back dipped nearly to her panty line and just barely kept her covered. It showed far too much cleavage for Sakura's comfort.

"Of course. Don't worry about it. You look gorgeous. They won't know what hit them." Ino assured her friend, steering her through the doors and into the smoky bar. It went oddly quiet as everyone turned to stare. Sakura wanted to die.

_**

* * *

**_

The Dull Kunai is an all-shinobi bar. People come here to unwind. Sometimes, you see ANBU and Jounin staggering in, covered in blood and grime, and downing incredible amounts of alcohol after a hard mission. You see regulars like me, sitting in the back, trying to relax and forget about all the terrible things we did the past week, all the people we had to kill for out mission. But, one thing you don't normally see is Sakura in the smallest, tightest dress I'd ever seen.

_**The way the soft, dim lights lit up her face and her hair… she glowed. Her long, shapely legs seemed nearly endless in those black stilettos. I definitely couldn't pretend that she's a little girl any more.**_

_**Somehow, I'm sure that that realization would be the end of me.**_

_**I couldn't hide anymore. I loved her.**_

_**And, soon, she would be married, and she would be gone, forever.**_

_**She wouldn't be my Sakura anymore.**_

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**A/N: I bet you weren't expecting that, now where you? This story had gotten strange... Review, if you please.**


	3. In the Dull Kunai

**A/N: The timing in this chapter goes here and there and everywhere, so be on your toes.**

**Disclaimer: This is, after all, **_**Fan**_**fiction, so, hopefully, you can draw your conclusions from that. **

_Thoughts_

_Sakura POV _(First Person)

_**Kakashi POV(First Person)**_

* * *

Chapter 2- In the Dull Kunai

_

* * *

_

"Kakashi-sensei!"

_You look to me, and you seem tired. Drained. You turn wearily and raise and arm slowly. You look like you have a thousand pounds dragging beneath each eye, and twice as much on your shoulders, weighing you down. You haven't slept in days. I know. Stepping in for Tsunade who had disappeared during the fight… _They've found her, though. _I think. _It's hard on you. I know. It's even harder on me.

_Seeing you like this hurts, Kakashi. "Sakura-chan," you say quietly, lifelessly, your eyes sad and dull. "How are you?" Before, when you said that, it felt like you cared. Now, it was a force of habit. What had happened, Kakashi?_

_It was like a part of you has died._

_It feels like I have died and gone to hell._

_Kakashi, have we gone to hell together?_

_I don't want to go to hell with you, Kakashi. I want to die and go to heaven and spend my days with you, by your side, because, I know, that in a land of fantasy, in heaven, where whatever I want comes into being, is the only place I can be your Sakura, and you can be my Kakashi._

_Is that truly the only way, Kakashi?_

"_I'm good." I say, but I do not have to ask you how you are doing. I can see it, in you eyes._

_You nod, and turn to the memorial, where you can be with those you truly love. Your heart is so full, Kakashi. I know. I know it is unfair to ask, but will there ever be room for me?_

* * *

Sakura could feel their gazes boring into her as they stared unabashedly. She wanted to hide behind her hands. She wanted to turn and run. She wanted to let the ground open up beneath her and swallow her up. She opted to running to Kakashi and the safety of the dark corner where he and his friends were seated. Sure, she was now sitting with Konoha's biggest playboy and practically sitting in the lap of Konoha's resident sex god, but, Sakura had always been good at slapping away tentacles.

--Six Hours Prior--

It was impossible to escape them. Here Kakashi was, smashed between an old, rusted dumpster and a cranky, elderly cat with one grey eye and several scars marring it's storm gray coat, it's face 'masked' in black fur. It peered at him balefully at it sat, perched on an upturned trash can with an old pizza box that had become the stray cat's home. Kakashi could here _them _in the distance, baying for blood like hounds, pawing the ground in hopes of sniffing him out. Though the intense stench was burning into Kakashi's too-sensitive nose, it was worth it if he could just escape.

Whether it was bad karma or something else entirely, the odds were not in his favor.

There were roughly one hundred kunoichi, eager to sink their claws into Kakashi, patrolling the streets. Kakashi had managed to get his unfortunate team of young, impressionable ANBU to henge into him and run around the streets to set them off his trail. One of his ninkin (ninja dogs) accompanied each of the four ANBU carrying giant whiteboards and uniform black pens (how they managed to write without opposable thumbs, Kakashi would never know). Pakkun sat at the foot of the Hokage Monument with a four-way radio and directed them, receiving information of new proposals which he noted and wrote on the Master Tally Sheet. It was a very professional operation, run by incredibly intelligent dogs.

Angry grey clouds rushed across the sky, covering the sun in minutes as rain poured from the sky, rushing down in sheets. Kakashi's hair flopped dejectly. He had heard Kurenai and Anko complain about humidity and their hair, but they didn't know the half of it. Kakashi's hair did the craziest things. Once, he'd woken up on a hot, damp summer day with hair in the shape of a silver mushroom. It had taken several broken combs, a hair dryer, a kunai, and many, many bottles of gel to get it into its regular shape. On a good day, his hair naturally sat in its gravity-defying rat's nest, but on a bad day, anything could happen.

There was a reason why his entire house was booby trapped. If you even brush the light switch to the far left, you'll be turned into a ribbon sandwich by an army of flying kunai suspended on invisible wires; step on third step and you'll find Mrs. Watari's baby grand squashing you into a pancake; turn the door knob more than ninety degrees and a poisoned senbon well quietly find its way into your jugular. Kakashi was a cautious shinobi, especially when it came to his reputation.

Few were stupid enough to wander into his apartment. Naruto had, once, and the only thing that had saved him was the kyuubi within him and a strategically placed cart of ramen. One very important lesson was learned: Never Visit Kakashi When He Is Sick. Nothing good can come of risking you life to get into his house only to be turned away.

The grey cat mewed mournfully before slinking away into a nice, dry corner shielded from the rain by a terracotta roof. Kakashi couldn't risk movement. It was far too dangerous, and Kakashi wasn't keen on seeing Obito quite so soon.

It seemed that he would be there for a while.

--Thirty Days Prior--

The war was over, and it was eerily quiet in Konoha. There had been morning but, eventually, life must go on. The chunin exams had come and gone, and, finally, Sasuke was promoted from genin to chunin. It had been kind of sad, though. Sasuke had literally held one boy at arm's length as he struggled to swing at the older shinobi who was a head and shoulders taller than him. Sasuke had soon put the boy out of his misery and discreetly pressed a pressure point. Sasuke had passed without a hitch, Naruto, Sakura, and even Kakashi cheering him on (though Kakashi hadn't been quite as verbal as his younger teammates).

Naruto had knuckled down and taken the jounin exams, passing easily, though, before he could let it get to his head, Kakashi reminded him (quite brutally) at an afternoon training session that he could still kick his butt, Sakura's butt, and Sasuke's butt simultaneously in a fair battle (sans kyuubis and curse seals). They all collapsed tiredly in the grass, Kakashi, a bit more dignified, took a seat in a tree and cracked open Icha Icha Seductress. While his cute munchkins turned little soldiers turned shinobi argued and nailed each other with stray acorns and the occasional tree, he lazed about, reminiscing.

Kakashi could remember when they had been wee little shinobi-wannabes with giant egos and even bigger foreheads. They had been normal teenagers with hang ups and zits and a sense of superiority which Kakashi had been quick to stamp out (though he could do nothing about the zits. Poor, poor children). Now, they were seasoned shinobi who had fought a brutal, bloody war and come back the stronger for it. They were wise beyond their years, smart beyond their years, strong beyond their years…

"Whoa, Sakura, what's that thing growing on your face?" _Slam! Crunch! Bam! Snap!_

…and stupid beyond their years. Oh, were they idiots. Sakura continued pummeling the crap out of a hapless Naruto as Sasuke snickered a safe distance away, looking none the worse for wear. It seemed he had _some _common sense. Sakura slammed Naruto into a tree, her face flushed adorably. Kakashi smiled. But, they were cute, loveable idiots.

_It's the same with kids. _Kakashi mused, tapping his chin thoughtfully._ They're annoying and get under your skin, but they're so cute you can't throw them away. _Suddenly, something very orange and very loud hit him in the stomach. Hard. _These kids are lucky they're cute. _Kakashi wheezed as Sakura followed it up with a kick into Naruto's family jewels, knocking the wind out of Kakashi also. _The cuter they are, the more viciously annoying. _Sakura was far too adorable for her own good.

Unfortunately, Kakashi knew this from personal experience.

--At the Dull Kunai--

There had been many awkward moments in Kakashi's thirty-five years of life. Every time, Kakashi had managed to remain aloof and unaffected. Hopefully, this time was no exception. Sakura had strolled in wearing an almost non-existent dress (he was sure it was Ino's) and had decided to sit _right by the hapless Copy Nin_. She had grabbed a chair (unfortunately, it had been previously occupied) and sidled right next to Kakashi, practically sitting _In His Lap_. Genma looked jealous, but Kakashi would've traded any day, because, unlike Genma, he had morals, and they went against taking his far too sexy student to bed.

Sakura's scantily clad thigh pressed against his clothed one as she leaned over him, reaching for the community pitcher of sake, and, in the process, she gave Kakashi a far too appetizing peek down her shirt. A completely _unwanted _peek, mind you. Kakashi tore his eyes from his student's cleavage with great difficulty, took a deep breath, and tossed back his shot of whiskey. It was going to be a long night.

"Hey, Hatake." Genma called out, waving his sake bottle drunkenly in the air. "How come Sakura won't sit in my lap, but she'll happily take a seat on you?" Though his words did not betray it, his actions did. Genma had gone beyond 'tipsy' and now was in the land of 'drunk'.

"She's not in my lap, Genma." Kakashi said patiently. The last thing he needed was to have to drag Genma's dead weight back home once he passed out. Maybe Tenzou or Raidou would comply…

"Hai, hai…" Genma looked dizzy, tipping forward tiredly.

"Tenzou?"

"But, Kakashi-senpai, last week, I…" Tenzou began. He wasn't one to turn down work, but was carrying Genma home really all that importany?

"Please?" Kakashi gave his best puppy eyes over Icha Icha.

"…fine." Tenzou had always been a sucker for puppy eyes. Always.

_**

* * *

**_

"Kakashi-sensei!"

_**I turn, and I see you, so bright, so full of life… Your smile fills me with warmth, and the weight on my shoulders doesn't seem quite so heavy. I've felt that I've been drowning for so long, Sakura, but now, I've had my first breath of air in what feels like forever. The darkness is no longer closing around on me. **_**You **_**are here. Your hair flickers around your face, liquid warmth, your eyes glowing with happiness. **_

"_**Sakura-chan." I say, and your name feels like honey on my tongue, a taste I never want to give up. "How are you?" **_

_**You smile. "I'm good," You say simply, looking up at me with warmth tinged with worry. You study me. I've lost weight, I know. I can imagine you reprimanding me. "You were skinny enough as it was," you'd say, eyes alight with conviction. "Don't you dare starve yourself to death, Hatake Kakashi!"**_

_**I nod, and I turn, pushing my hands into my pockets, because I feel suddenly cold as I turn from you. I head to the memorial, the one place that I know you won't join me.**_

_**I run from you, Sakura. I fear you, because you make me want to reach out and feel. I feel my heart clench whenever I see you sad, and I feel my soul soar when you smile. You have total control over me, Sakura, and it scares the shit out of me. I would confess, I could confess, but I won't. You deserve better, Sakura. You deserve someone bright and full of life, like you. You deserve someone who still knows how to smile and to laugh, someone who deserves you.**_

_**But, there is no man that deserves you.**_

_**And, if there is, he definitely isn't me.**_


End file.
